Somethings I learned about Oregon and Snow and Snow In Oregon:

Oregon has many different road lines. There are standard dashes, single lines, double lines, double lines embedded with bumps, double lines with dashes in the middle, double lines with dots in the middle, and on some stretches of road, no line at all. Lines do not matter when the road is covered with snow.

Snow is very beautiful and fun until it covers the roads. Then it becomes a bit stressful and difficult. Snow is preferable to ice.

An entire car encased in ice looks pretty cool, but takes about half an hour, a lot of heat, and an ice scraper to de-ice. I say "ice pick" instead of "ice scraper" pretty much every time I have to use the term. Which is almost never, but was quite often last weekend.

When driving around on snowy, ice roads in a city that doesn't get snowy on a regular basis (like once every 40 years) and when everyone else also doesn't really know how to drive in snow, it gets very surreal. Lanes are completely irrelevant. Cars float around and often slip and slide until they can get traction again. And the cars behind are not bothered, they just peacefully wait until everything is settled and straightened out and then get going again. On the freeway. It's like a huge ice rink for cars.

Snow storms in not-snowy places brings out all the Mid-Westerners and their snow shovels. It also brings out a few perplexing and grumpy folks who mutter things like "hrrmph, can't you drive in snow?" But all the temperate-climate-dwellers who can't drive in snow and all the Mid-Westerners-turned-heroes for owning snow shovels and imparting wisdoms like "turn into the spin" are full of good feelings toward their neighbors.

Thank you, awesome guy working at the nursery (i think?) in North-Eastern Portland who helped us dig our car out of the snowdrift that we had idiotically parked in. It was really quite an experience for us Californians.

The best place to go when everything is snowy is a bookstore. The most awesome bookstore ever is Powell's. We had to drive into Portland to get there, and the car got stuck in an intersection a couple of blocks away (stupid snowplow) but it was so worth it. And now my sister gets a Family Circus book for Christmas, which is her absolute favorite. (Not a completely true statement.)

Oh my gosh snow is cold. And make my nose run. Hot, spicy apple cider is delicious, and also makes my nose run. Thank you family of friend that we were visiting. You are awesome and make delicious foodstuffs. Amazing lentil soup. I always focus on the edibles, but the conversation and the company was fantastic as well.

Vodka doesn't make my nose run, but it makes me warm and drunk. Thank you former teacher who, despite having been prepared, really amazed all the people I dragged with me. They were pretty surprised that your toast involved the words "fuck" and "your mother." The herring was delicious, although I suspect you have to have a genetic predisposition in order to enjoy it. My grandfather once ate fish for every meal while we were in Germany during herring season. I have good genes. Or at least fishy ones.

And it was fantastic to just be stranded in Tigard with a bunch of nice folks. I like hanging out with people who still think it's cool to give everyone nicknames. Co-Ho, you totally snore, I can't believe you ever tried to insist otherwise. Actually, we all snore, but the rest of us don't try to lie about it.

rapping my intentions

Augh, this is so difficult! I said. How do I describe this in one sentence? Listen to some rap, said my housemate. They can usually describe things in brief.

Here's the rap version of my graduate school statement of intent. Yes, it's as bad as it sounds.

I wrote an analysis
about the school reformists
who been hanging in the town
since afore y'all been around

i sat reading in the library
learned bout the lack of integrity
got deep into the history
how to get out was a myst'ry

i went to work for the district
figured i'd been a'tricked
everything was all confused
folks thought they were being used

i learned about geography
and how it married sociology
and then was borned ethnicity
without a lot of specificity

all sorts of folks came by migration
then faced some major segregation
due to some cool litigation
there began school integration

they landed in the bay
and came from across the way
folks rode in on the train
and flew over by plane

i've learned and i've taught
and i think i've found what i sought
so i'd like to go to your school
and not be any kind of fool.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.

I've had a rather difficult week or so. My shower leaks into my room, the washing machine leaks into the shower, and my roommate's cat insists on sleeping with me in rather uncomfortable positions (on my chest! on my knees! on my hips!). We can't reach the landlord, a plumber would probably charge up the wazoo to show up over the holiday weekend, and I am broke. So fuck.

But something unprecedented happened to me this week. I had a good moment at work. Not even a moment, a good forty-five minutes. And it was with fifth graders, who are really just young middle schoolers.

Anyway.

So I recently got this book, Hip Hop Speaks to Children: A Celebration of Poetry with a Beat, edited by Nikki Giovanni, and I was super excited about it. It's got all sorts of poetry, from

Laurence Dunbar

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,--
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

and Langston Hughes

Playboy of the dawn
Solid gone!
Out all night
Until 12 - 1 - 2 a.m. Next day
When he should be gone
To work -
Dog-gone!
He ain't gone.

to Maya Angelou

There are some millionaires
With money they can't use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues

and Queen Latifah

There's a dream in the future
There's a struggle that we have yet to win
And there's pride in my heart
'cause I know where I'm going, yes I do
And I know where I've been, yeah

and loads of other fun stuff. So I had some free time at the end of the lesson plan, and these kids had been bugging me all day to put on 94.9 (one of the local rap stations that plays the same crap over and over), and kept accusing me of not liking rap or Li'l Wayne (I know, right?) and so several of them got real excited (and surprised) when I mentioned I'd studies some hip hop in college. I mean, not doing it, but using it to look at history and contemporary landscapes and whatnot. I cannot beat or box but I do know a little something about hippity hopping. At least enough to teach a fifth grade class on it. And so, while some of the younger students did their homework, my very resistant, noisiest, and most distractable students were talking about hip hop.

And so i played them some Sugarhill Gang, and some Queen Latifah (they'd forgotten she was a rapper), and some Langston Hughes, and a few other things, and we talked a little bit about where the music came from, and then I let them mess around with the CD player and the book.

And those were all good moments; it was super fun to teach these kids something they could relate to and got excited about. But then came the best good moment.

They'd been looking through the list of selections on the CD, listening to all the music and skipping over the spoken word, but finally they'd found something to really get excited about. They asked the entire class to be quiet, and then started playing one of the final tracks on the disk.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s I Have a Dream speech.

For real.

These 9 and 10 year old elementary school students, and primarily the ones that'd been fighting the work all day and talking too much and asking me to turn the radio on were mad crazy about Dr. King.

A good moment.

How to Accept Unusual Gifts - Part 1: Badgers

Individuality is a large part of youth culture today, the result of which extends far beyond individuality of thought, into the social realm in which one is represented by the choices he or she makes; including gifts. With the constant increase in eccentricity of gifts given, it is only a matter of time before you receive something that you have not expected. However, the manner in which a gift is received plays an important role in the way society views you. In part 1 of How to Accept Unusual Gifts you will learn how to receive a Medium Sized Wild Animal cordially, using the example of a Badger. Please note that this article only applies to gifts given in person, as a thank you note is an acceptable response to all other manners of delivery.

The first step of course is the exchange that takes place before the gift is opened. There are two basic ways in which a wild animal might be given (given by hand or left on the floor.) The detail may seem small but the significance of the gesture speaks volumes. The gift, if given by hand, is very personal; the giver will want to see your reaction clearly, and will be excited by your sense of surprise. If the gift is given by hand the following actions should be taken. When accepting the gift smile and say, “thank you,” when you have a firm hold of the item. This establishes gratitude and will let the giver know that he or she can let go. Try your best not to look horrified when you notice that something is moving inside it as this will injure the giver’s feelings. If the gift is left on the floor, under a Christmas tree for example, it is not inappropriate to wait until the gift has been opened to say, “thank you.” In this case as well, you should try not to look horrified, but you can turn your back to the giver or hide your face if necessary. Under no circumstances should you shake the box.

When opening the gift, do so gingerly. Start by putting the box on the floor gently. Remove the tape without ripping the wrapping paper if at all possible. If the giver asks what you are doing and tells you it is all right to rip the wrapping, then you may proceed to do so. However, it is important to remember not to jostle the box too much as you may upset the badger within; with dire consequences. If once the wrapper is removed you find a brown paper box with scratch or bite marks in it, or a cage with something furry inside it, you may want to move the box outside to an enclosed yard, or otherwise fenced in area before opening it.

Opening the cage or box to release the badger is the most dangerous part of receiving the badger. If possible try to avoid opening the container and call animal control. The following instructions should only be used if the giver insists and you are exceptionally polite. The likelihood that it will be complacent will be low if it is still alive, and badgers are a fierce opponent when angered. Ensure that you are in an enclosed area with hard ground beneath you or the badger may escape. If at all possible, wear gardening gloves or open the container from a distance. At this point do not approach the badger. Do not hug the badger. Do not poke or otherwise make contact with the badger. At this time call animal control. You may enjoy the badger’s presence by staying back and watching it until animal control arrives. After animal control has taken the badger away, thank the giver for the exciting gift and ask them politely to never give you something like that again. Ever.

Whether you are receiving a gift at a birthday, religious holiday, life event, or for no reason at all, the same response will placate the giver. With time and practice these steps will become second nature and you will be an excellent gift receiver, which will encourage generosity in those around you.