substitutes

It's a varied and interesting group of people who substitute. People at in-between stages of life, people who are bored, people who really need a few bucks here and there.

A delicate older fellow, an ex-professor, who enjoys telling everyone various tidbits of his life story. Unfortunately, also a fellow who repeats details and facts while explaining his stories. Ah, so what school will you be attending? The University of Chicago and the University of Pennsylvania have very nice Egyptian museums, small, but they've done a lot of digging in Egypt, so they're very good collections, small, but I was visiting the University of Chicago and I went to see the Egyptian collection, because my wife, she's Egyptian, we met in Egypt when I was teaching there, so we went to see the collection that the University of Chicago has because my wife is Egyptian, and they have a very nice collection, it's small, but they've done a lot of work in Egypt, dug up the artifacts and shipped them back, you know, so it's very good.

A middle-aged (on the younger end of middle) new-agey woman who, seeing that I was reading a book on religion (The Modern Jewish Girl's Guide to Guilt) said "I think you might like this" and showed me the book she was reading–subtitled "A Deliciously Unorthodox Approach to Igniting Your Divine Spark." I think she may have mistaken the book I was reading on Jewish guilt as a self-help book, instead of the short comedic essays that it actually is. And I'm not sure why I would be identified as someone with any interest in the divine spark- just because I'm white and look unthreatening does not mean I roll with that soul-searching white people crap.

A woman who you could mistake for motherly at her overall jean dress, but at a closer look definitely screams cat lady. Surrounded by screaming kindergarteners who she can't get to shut up or sit down or really do much of anything (and, not to belittle her teaching skills, neither can I) in a very overheated classroom. She's having a bad day (and her hair doesn't look so hot either). She's clearly given up trying to get them to do much of anything, and I might appreciate her more if she didn't take me so seriously. (No, I don't actually think it would be good if the kid started choking, it was an exaggeration on the extreme measures it would take to shut these monkeys up.)

A beautiful lady who randomly begins conversations at awkward moments.

A talkative middle-aged white fellow with thick curly hair who has a huge bald spot in the middle of his burgeoning afro.

A young Asian man who's spending the time before he goes to an MBA program substituting and needs to wear a suit and tie to distinguish himself from the students. (I relate to this fellow quite a bit.)

A young white lady who makes awkward conversation with other awkward people, dresses in collared shirts, and looks too young to be in charge of anyone. (Oh wait, that's me!)

Men...

A bunny: hey
tretonin: Hey
A bunny: how's it going?
tretonin: It's going well
tretonin: I chatted with a cute girl today
tretonin: So that's always good
A bunny: yes
A bunny: going to chat with her more?
tretonin: She's going to be at Relay for Life, and so will I, so yeah, probably
A bunny: ruby is suspicious
tretonin: Of what? My unlikely story?
A bunny: yes
A bunny: but mostly of the girl
A bunny: her intentions
tretonin: I see
tretonin: They might not be honorable
A bunny: this is spiraling out of control sean
A bunny: I forbid you from seeing this woman
tretonin: But you can't do that! We're in love! *slams door and turns on country music*
A bunny: hahaha
A bunny: awesome
A bunny: lets shoot zombies together
tretonin: Good idea
tretonin: Give me like ten minutes
A bunny: sure