Notes in a substitute's little black book

On Language

Second day on the job, trying to make sure a class of second graders didn't say anything mean to each other in Spanish (like 'callate'), I claimed to know ALL the bad words in ALL the languages. It being second grade, no one dared test me by actually uttering a bad word, instead I got this:
"even in Spanish?" "what about French?" "I'm part Portuguese!" "Do you know the ones in Alaskan?"

In another classroom, a tattler, "Teacher, Teacher, he said a bad word! He said FUNKY!"

On Food

A note from a day of celebration: "It takes a 1st grader's complete concentration to walk and eat cake at the same time. They can't be held responsible for where they end up."

In the staff room - pink marshmellows, 'quakers' rice snacks, circus animals, 2 bowls granola

On Noise

Clapping in high school isn't a 'quiet down' technique, it's a distraction.

There is major trading and arguing in elementary schools - primarily around pencil erasers.

On Clothing

A shirt: Recycle Everything but Boyfriends

Noticed some girls in heels - many seem to be breaking them in for homecoming. A lot of very careful stepping.

A punked out, tattooed, funky-haired, leather-wearing mom drops off her neat, blond little girl in her crisp white stockings and neat blue dress.

On Curriculum

Gave students 'top ten' assignment - one girl listed her favorite desserts and included soda and pizza.

Kindergarteners doing 'calendar': Joshua was certain it was Sunday, because "Look outside! It's sunny!" The rest of the class disagreed, saying it was certainly Monday. Isaac said his playstation had said it was the 13th, so using that we finally figured out that it was Tuesday.

Conversation

Students in the hall discussing election; in trying to figure out what candidate they're supporting i discover that it's one of their classmates - for homecoming.

Re: Harry Potter "No offense to you, if you like it, but the Harry Potter movies kinda suck. The books are way better."

"You look like you're marred."
(me) "I do?"
"I think it's your hair."

Some students talking about a group called the Arabz, teaching a kid how to do the handshake, which involves pushing your thumb down ('pressing a button') and then 'blowing up.' Looks funny, makes me depressed.

"I'm also thankful for the music that releases me."

"smash potatoes"